8/3/07
new fishbowlall good things...
http://thecopaseticfish.wordpress.com/
come on over!
posted @ 9:49 PM by the copasetic fish | 0 comments
7/30/07
relationship graveyardit's official. i am where relationships go to die.
and apparently, they don't even have to be real relationships. they can be casual, long-distance, INFALLIBLE situations and i'll still kill them.
when i finally arrived at L's house after a grueling day and a five-hour drive, he was standing in the driveway smiling.
"you're home!"
cue the butterflies and the smug feeling that it was going to be a good weekend.
less than 24 hours later, i walked into his kitchen, lied to his face and walked out the door.
it all started off so well. he had agreed -- without any reservation -- to go out with a large group of my coworkers. we had a fantastic time, even staying out until 2am with his friend, my friend and her husband. he was caring, attentive and cute.
saturday, he worked on my car and fixed some things i hadn't had time to attend to. he was so proud of the stuff he had done, going over the smallest things, thinking he was teaching me how to do it for the first time. we drove to the auto parts store and picked up a few essentials, the picture perfect couple out running errands. and then it all began to unravel. very, very quickly.
we were standing in the kitchen, working out our plans for the evening, when he started hesitating.
"well, you see... i didn't know you were staying here tonight. and i really wanted to spend some time with my friends. please don't take this the wrong way."
well... when i said i was coming for the weekend and you told me to stay with you...
what i said out loud was something to the effect of, "absolutely. we can figure it out later in the evening. when you're done with dinner, we'll all meet up for drinks."
then i walked into the bedroom and packed up my stuff. he walked outside to take a call and i made a beeline for the jeep, throwing everything into the back seat. we both walked back inside at the same moment and he raised his eyebrows.
"i'm sorry, the office just called. i'm gonna have to go fix something and it really can't wait."
it rolled off my tongue without hesitation, because i knew he wouldn't question me, at least not directly. he shrugged and offered me his spare key. i told him i was pretty sure i wouldn't need it, that i could change for dinner at my cousin's house.
"you've already packed all of your stuff, haven't you?"
i nodded. "see you later?"
"you bet, monkey."
and although there were calls and text messages later in the evening, at the end of the night i was in my pajamas, watching syriana with my cousins. true, i wasn't having the weekend i'd planned, but maybe this was what was supposed to happen.
and because all relationships should be properly mourned, i did just that as soon as i got back to town the next day. on the back of J's motorcycle. then on his couch. then almost on his floor.
(please see copasetic fish: clearly lacks self control around men. also: slut for a motorcycle.)
hello, whole new can of worms. i'm glad we've just blown you wide open. (although, in my defense, nothing. happened. but if i'm to believe him, it's just a matter of time.)
the boy gets under my skin.
posted @ 7:10 PM by the copasetic fish | 4 comments
7/26/07
most certainlyi know, i know.
i bitch and whine about how no one reads me and no one loves me, which you all promptly proved wrong.
so naturally, i refrain from writing anything even remotely interesting for at least a week. because that's how i roll.
however... i'm leaving tomorrow to spend the weekend with L. i plan to dream tonight of double orgasms and breakfasts in bed. to be followed by more orgasms. i also plan to enjoy the last night of uninterrupted slumber i'll be having until i return sunday night.
which, aside from all the sex, means i'm almost certain to have damn good stories upon my return. i'm sure you're all very excited.
i am. of that i'm more than certain.
posted @ 10:08 PM by the copasetic fish | 3 comments
7/22/07
my two cents' worthi've been thinking about this a lot the past couple of weeks and feel i'm finally ready to admit it.
i'm a comment whore.
perhaps "whore" is too strong of a word. it's not that i'll do anything to incite fellow bloggers to come by and leave their two cents' worth. perhaps my life just hasn't been interesting recently and there's not much to comment about. or perhaps this is karma kicking my blog's ass for the sad fact that i haven't been commenting much myself recently. whatever the cause, i was lamenting the fact that no one seems to have much to say to my good instant messenger friend GeekHiker just the other night, causing him, no doubt, to roll his eyes at this stereotypical female with her needy neediness.
(on a side note, in real life i'm not big on accepting commentary. here? i crave. i pine. i need.)
and just in the midst of this woe is me, i'll go eat worms stage, Sarah stepped in. her thoughtfulness couldn't have come at a better time, really. she seems to think i deserve the following recognition:
i thought this was rather kind, as was her reasoning behind the nomination. which started me thinking about the people i've meet through the blogging world and how our mutual commentary has sparked friendships that are really very dear to me now, even though i've only met a couple in person. i haven't heard from some of them in a while and i hope everything is going well with them, that they are happy and creative and as wonderful in their lives as they were in their blogs. (L, imogen, e. M,-- i don't know if you still read here, but i DO miss you guys! lots! come back!) and to pass the favor along, here are five more rocking girl bloggers i think you should go read. (because most people already read dooce, charming, smitten and fish, i'm going to try to highlight perhaps lesser known but equally rocking blogs.)
1. i'd be remiss if i didn't start off with charlotte. one of only two bloggers i've met in person, she continues to be one of my all-time-favorite people. she's emailed me sweet and thoughtful advice, we've drank together, caught beads together, smoked together and just had a great time. she's a very intelligent, thoughtful and caring person who has devoted so much of herself to serving other people. she is also a hell of a writer. AND i know she won't rat me out and blow my cover.
2. i stumbled upon clink though someone else's blogroll and i think she's every bit the charming new yorker that us southerns are wary about their mere existence, but dream of meeting so our faith in those city people can be somewhat restored. and she's hilarious. never before have i read such cleverly written inner musings. it's possible she's already been nominated, but if that's the case, she rocks double time.
3. if leonie's writing doesn't blow you away, go to her myspace page and listen to her sing. if you're still unmoved, you might want to go to the doctor because my friend, you have no heart nor emotion. and you should have that fixed right away.
4. if you're ever looking for a sweet and straight-to-the-point take on life, you should read brookem. she's refreshing, to say the least, and very honest. and then go read accidentally me. she amazes me all the time and that is no small task.
5. do they make a rocking guy blogger award? because if they did, i'd HAVE to recognize my friend GeekHiker. really, how often do you find a guy who not only offers a bevy of technical know-how, but also walks you through fantastic hikes as he sees them. he also has a heart of gold and great conversation skills.
so there you have it. go read! and comment! we bloggers, we like to have our comment egos stroked.
posted @ 10:07 PM by the copasetic fish | 9 comments
7/19/07
he makes me see stars (and not the good ones)i know i've mentioned my father a few times before, but i'm not sure i've ever quite done justice to our relationship, or lack thereof.
talking to my father makes me nauseous. and panicky. and anxious to stop talking to him. immediately.
the weekend my cousin was supposed to get married, he RSVP-ed at the last minute. i was physically ill until we all realized he had blown it off and decided not to bring his girlfriend, the woman for whom he left my mother. granted, only an asshole tells the bride he's coming to her wedding WITH A DATE less than a week before the (destination) wedding and only an even bigger asshole is then a no-show, but damned if i wasn't relieved as hell. in fact, with the glaring exception of his bat-shit-crazy mother, i think everyone else was just as relieved for my sake.
my father has the ability to make me feel like shit. also like i'm five years old and incapable of making intelligent conversation. he also has no concept of how to treat people and how to behave in a socially acceptable manner.
for the past year or so, he's lived in DC. i've made almost every excuse imaginable to avoid visiting him. now he's moving back to florida and has informed me (note: he TOLD me, not ASKED me) that he will be coming into town to visit me and why can't he stay with me when he's in town? and by the way, he's also going to start calling me. almost every day. with nothing to say.
and because he makes me feel like ass, i can't tell him to stop calling because then i would be a bad daughter. i did, however, inform him that he could not drive six hours to "just drop by." because i have a real job. and i work real hours. (even though my brother has already told me that my father thinks i'm "overreacting." because no one really works as much as i claim to.)
my father has the unique distinction for being the only person i have ever yelled at. and i mean screaming. telling him exactly where to get off. the only person who was able to make me angry enough to disregard my personal standards for appropriate conversation.
and seriously? the thought of having him in the same state makes me supremely uncomfortable. because one day i'll wake up and he'll be on my doorstep. or he'll show up at my office. because he not only doesn't care that something like that would be rude or inconvenient, he would think it's funny just because it would cause someone else so much trouble.
this may have just kicked my need for a therapist up a few notches. i'm going to need professional help keeping him at arm's length. because after extensive consideration and a good deal of contemplation, it's really healthier for me to stay away from him.
posted @ 8:46 PM by the copasetic fish | 2 comments
